Beautiful Amnesia

A friend of mine is in a very dark place and I can only sit quietly with her. Not physically since we are oceans apart but with my heart. I’ll sit with her in my heart. It took a few harsh words from her for me to realise that that’s all I can do. I sat on the initial hurt and in that silence, realised that she wasn’t actually angry at me. She is in a lot of pain and that is her pain manifesting itself. I saw her as she is right now. In my folly, I had unthinkingly prodded a scared animal with a well-meaning stick. Tried to clean an open wound and it must have stung. Normally I would have shrunk away, my ego all defiant and inflated tenfolds to defend myself - “well if you don’t know what’s good for you …”.

The difference now is that I know that I don’t know what’s good for anybody, when not so long ago I would have insisted and fought tooth and nail for “my way is the best way”. To a very large extent, the knee jerk reaction is still there - the hurt is still felt but I didn’t let it linger - I sat with it in silence and then I let it go. I don’t have to be right, I can only be there ready to sit with and listen when the moment is right. You, him, her, them … no one’s ever really right - only the moment can be and I trust I will know it when it comes.