Insomnia - a condition that doesn’t strike me too often. I am the deluder, the one that crawls under the covers and escapes to dreamland when reality isn’t quite working out the way that I want it to. But I think I have been sleeping far too much and far too long my entire life. Last night was the second time in the last month or so that I have been stranded on my bed, eyes shut as tightly as possible, but unfortunately, miserably and reluctantly wide awake. I tossed and turned, trying to find a physical discomfort that I can soothe but there was none. My mind raced ahead blindly in the blackness- too fast for me to even keep up and too dark for me to see where it was trying to go. In fact, there wasn’t a distinct direction obvious to me and I hate feeling stuck.
I’m exhausted. I swore at shitty drivers the whole way to the market this morning though I’m sure if I were more awake, I’d realise that I was the bad driver. I’ve been debating just sleeping the afternoon away but the thought of tossing and turning all afternoon scares me so I’ll just hang about online being non-productive as usual.
I would meditate if I were feeling a little less agro and restless. I know that this is precisely why one should meditate in the first place but I’m a very lowly human being and I simply cannot meditate to alleviate my agro-ness when I’m feeling agro. *runs around in circles chasing my imaginary tail*
So anyway, on to other things. Kerry and I went by the gallery where my picture was hanging. To my part amusement and part horror, my little mounted print was being listed for $550. I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or to cry so I did neither. They didn’t even have my name on the price list which pissed me off a little, but not too much because I just had the best Turkish pizza for breakfast earlier and its little packets of happy were still bubbling in my tummy. I know it’s not the gallery’s fault, more so that of the organiser who had arranged to have RedBubbler’s exhibit. I guess I should have stayed on the day of the hanging to make sure that everything was right, but they told me 5.00 to 5.30pm and I had no money for my parking meter. The organiser was late and perhaps to my biased opinion, flippant about artists she personally didn’t find was worth her time. I had sensed this from the start by her e-mail reply to my query about the exhibition. I guess that’s ok, most folks don’t spare two seconds for people they have absolutely no interest in. I need to learn to do this then I’ll have so much more time available to me. But then I guess I’m already THIS bored so any more extra time will just be wasted on me :p Anyway, busy as said coordinator may be, how can she leave an artist’s name as unknown and set a stupid price on the work without my consultation when I had explicitly sent her an e-mail with all the details she had asked for. I guess my photo has been hanging in the gallery with listed as “unknown” with a price tag of $550AUD for the past week. It has since been changed, and at the end of the day I am not actually bothered just mildly amused but not in a positive sense of the word.
Remind me not to blog again on lack of sleep because it makes me sound like a self-indulgent bitchy bitch. You know, lack of sleep = lack of vocab so yea, whatever.